Behold. The Lusty Linda pen holder:
Um, so…yeah. I found this on Shakesville (via Pandagon) in a discussion of misogynistic toys/gags. I typically ignore a lot of these things assuming only those who don’t get laid or are insecure about their sexual abilities think they’re worth buying, but this one. Well, this one is special. You’ll see why. Lusty Linda, firstly…a personal thing…has a huge hole where flesh ought to be. I get irritated by details like this. I mean, if you’re going to be all super lame and shit, at least get the details right. The vagina is further south.
Now, another added feature of Lusty Linda is that she speaks. Yes indeed.
Let Lusty Linda the pen holder sun-bath on your desk. When you stick in a pen, she will moan, groan or say any of 10 different things. A switch on the bottom lets you set Linda’s mood, from good or bad. (too bad all women did not have such a switch).Lusty Linda The Pen Holder Says 10 Different Things including:
- ooow (ouch)!
- Get out you, you dirty old man!
- What are you looking at?
- Help! Help!
- Oh ooh (excited)
Did you get that? She has a switch where you can set her mood to her reaction to having your pen shoved inside her. You can set her to a good mood, in which case she will moan and purr happily…or a bad mood, in which case she will essentially respond to your harassment or request that you do not rape her. So many questions right now…so many flooding through my head. Such as, if you are the type of a-hole who puts this toy on your desk, how much more of an a-hole do you have to be to switch it to ‘bad mood’ so you can hear her yell (comically, I suppose) for help? Okay, so that’s Lusty Linda…but she is only one of a bad lot. Arguably the worst, actually, but only one. No! You can anally rape a guy with your pen, too.
Hilarious! Now, honestly…I enjoy a good Deliverance joke as much as the next gal, but would one be proud to have this on his/her desk?
You can go to the site here and hear what Mr. BF says when you stick a pen into him. Sadly, Mr. BF does not a happy switch. He is always sad and never enjoys his forced anal pen.
So, what have we learned today, children? That women sometimes like, and other times don’t like things in their vagina but it doesn’t matter…both are funny. Also, we learned that men never like anything in their butt, but that also doesn’t matter.