What am I doing with a blog?

Awww…heck. I dunno.

“Great Scott”, I mean “Knockers” November 24, 2007

Filed under: feminism,Uncategorized — himbly @ 6:18 pm

Okay.  This.   

It’s been confusing a lot of women lately. Dang, I can’t get it to embed here. Click on the link for the Heidi Klum Victoria’s Secret ad with her “great knockers”.   Anyway, It’s been confusing me lately, for certain.  And lilithattack, too.    

 So, last night I was out with lilith and gerbils and she and I got to talking.   We talked about this ad and why, even though we both wanted to like it for some reason, we just couldn’t.  I’ll outline the reasons here for me, and although lilith and my arguments both for and against were similar, I am not going to presume to speak for her.  Go to her blog…she writes better than me for one thing.  

 1- arguments for Heidi Klum pretending her boobs are machine guns

I wanted to like this ad. I really did want to.  I was very torn watching it.  I sat like a dog watching a cat dancing with a top hat on TV…ie. confused and uncomfortable.  And I think I figured it out.  I wanted to like that ad because it took away some of the mystique that surrounds the female body.  The female body has been taken to be such a damn serious thing…sacred…womb bearing…that the humour in it has gone away.  Our bodies, if you own one you know this, are hilarious and weird.  Nooks, crannies, dampness, dryness, lumps, bumps, humps…my humps, my lovely lady lumps.  Check it out:  we ought to rejoice in the fact that we can squeeze our boobs and make honking sounds.  Sarah Silverman, whom I love, devoted an entire episode of her brilliant show (it is too brilliant)  to queefing.  These things are important so that men can’t be the only ones that fart.

 2- argument against Heidi Klum yelling about her great knockers 

 Well..she does have great knockers.  Actually, in that commercial, they are so big they kinda freak me out.  Basically, I think I like the concept of that ad but Heidi Klum is all wrong for the role.  And not because she’s blonde, skinny, rich, famous, and gorgeous.  It’s because…and I mean no real offense to her…she just doesn’t pull it off for me.  She seems, how do I put this…she seems to have that “hot girl” sense of humour, which is less funny and more ‘hey, that hot chick is doing weird shit’.  Don’t pretend you didn’t know these girls in high school or your undergrad.  Or now, even.  I vote for the aforementioned Sarah Silverman.  Or Naomi Campbell because that chick has got issues.  Or what about less model-y women?  Why not make a series of women who love their knockers?  How weird would Dita Von Tease be?

 Now that I’ve said it, I’m wondering if that’s why the commercial is so heavily edited.  Because they filmed HK for an hour and came up with 30 seconds of ‘okay-good-enough-lets-wrap-up’ stuff? 

(ugh.  Wordpress changed shit and now I’m a bit confused.  Sorry if this post looks like ass.)



7 Responses to ““Great Scott”, I mean “Knockers””

  1. vintagefan Says:

    Ew, tasteless. Reminded me of that scene in the tank-girl movie where her boobs turn into missiles and fly off, all the guys in the room laughed, or shakira’s objection video where where she punches holes in her rival’s boobs, very funny again. Ofcourse those are cartoons but it’s still stupid. Guys make fun of boobs however much they claim to like ’em. They think they’re made out of plastic or something and with the imagery that’s out there I’m not surprised, and with women validating it, I’m even more not surprised. It’s not funny, slicing, dicing, poking, pinching, whatever the fuck, even pretending to.
    Sorry, ranted off a bit. I just don’t think it’s funny.

  2. himbly Says:

    But why can’t we make fun of our own boobs? And why is pretending to make them guns that bad? I dunno…it’s like because men make fun of boobs, women have to take them so seriously. I just don’t like the way Heidi Klum does it, but the guns thing doesn’t bother me at all.

  3. vintagefan Says:

    Sure you can make fun of your own boobs, but to put that on display sort of makes menz behaviour okay. It’s also got something fetishy and dehumanizing about it, they’re not machine guns, punching bags or basically unfeeling things. Bill Engvall was funny when he did a show on how much he loved boobs and then he did a spoof on million dollar baby, and guess what the girl used as a weapons until she had the accident and they were ‘deflated’. It’s not the same as guns and blades and swords and stuff as a metaphor for male genitalia, and it’s not like castration is funny.
    I just wouldn’t give them any more reasons to dehumanize us.
    Just my thoughts on that. Sounding a bit ranty again, sorries…

  4. himbly Says:

    no no…I like ranty. I’m trying to figure out where I stand on this myself. Rant away!

    But…if we make fun of our own boobs (again, I think HK did a bad job of it), doesn’t it “take back our boobs” so to speak?

    hehee…castration IS funny. Speak for yourself. (kidding)

    Bodies, men’s and women’, are funny. I guess I just want the freedom to run around with my boobs in my hands pretending I’m shooting enemies.

  5. vintagefan Says:

    Make breast milk not war.
    Gosh, that’s a sad one. Forgive me.
    Still world could do a turn around with weapons of mass lactation.
    Stop it V.
    But you know, I don’t think anyone would get away with poking a pin in a pretend erection, or ouch I broke my dick, on daytime telly. You can play with your boobs, with your S.O. or your girlfriends, they’re yours after all, just that out there it feeds this notion that they’re detachable or made of rubber or male or public property. They for us (sexual/sensual pleasure) and they’re for babies, last of all may be they’re for men.

  6. himbly Says:

    weapons of mass lactation…hahahahahahahaha

    nice one!

  7. vintagefan Says:

    ooof… don’t encourage me. So anyways, I get where you come from, the joke thing and being able to laugh at oneself. But I’d draw the line at some of the things that I mentioned.
    And you’re right, HK wasn’t funny, it looked really forced.

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