It’s been confusing a lot of women lately. Dang, I can’t get it to embed here. Click on the link for the Heidi Klum Victoria’s Secret ad with her “great knockers”. Anyway, It’s been confusing me lately, for certain. And lilithattack, too.
So, last night I was out with lilith and gerbils and she and I got to talking. We talked about this ad and why, even though we both wanted to like it for some reason, we just couldn’t. I’ll outline the reasons here for me, and although lilith and my arguments both for and against were similar, I am not going to presume to speak for her. Go to her blog…she writes better than me for one thing.
1- arguments for Heidi Klum pretending her boobs are machine guns
I wanted to like this ad. I really did want to. I was very torn watching it. I sat like a dog watching a cat dancing with a top hat on TV…ie. confused and uncomfortable. And I think I figured it out. I wanted to like that ad because it took away some of the mystique that surrounds the female body. The female body has been taken to be such a damn serious thing…sacred…womb bearing…that the humour in it has gone away. Our bodies, if you own one you know this, are hilarious and weird. Nooks, crannies, dampness, dryness, lumps, bumps, humps…my humps, my lovely lady lumps. Check it out: we ought to rejoice in the fact that we can squeeze our boobs and make honking sounds. Sarah Silverman, whom I love, devoted an entire episode of her brilliant show (it is too brilliant) to queefing. These things are important so that men can’t be the only ones that fart.
2- argument against Heidi Klum yelling about her great knockers
Well..she does have great knockers. Actually, in that commercial, they are so big they kinda freak me out. Basically, I think I like the concept of that ad but Heidi Klum is all wrong for the role. And not because she’s blonde, skinny, rich, famous, and gorgeous. It’s because…and I mean no real offense to her…she just doesn’t pull it off for me. She seems, how do I put this…she seems to have that “hot girl” sense of humour, which is less funny and more ‘hey, that hot chick is doing weird shit’. Don’t pretend you didn’t know these girls in high school or your undergrad. Or now, even. I vote for the aforementioned Sarah Silverman. Or Naomi Campbell because that chick has got issues. Or what about less model-y women? Why not make a series of women who love their knockers? How weird would Dita Von Tease be?
Now that I’ve said it, I’m wondering if that’s why the commercial is so heavily edited. Because they filmed HK for an hour and came up with 30 seconds of ‘okay-good-enough-lets-wrap-up’ stuff?
(ugh. Wordpress changed shit and now I’m a bit confused. Sorry if this post looks like ass.)