good to be back. My computer is healthy and lovely and all is well except for burning cds and that’s a little irritating but I’m sure we can fix it. Maybe she’s like a pet who gets pissed when they’re away from you for awhile so she’s making me throw out once perfectly good cds. Bitch.
I didn’t mean that.
So, I came home today and goofed off. Then I napped (apparently goofing off was tiring). Woke up ready to start the work I need to do (there is lots of it) then realized that, though there’s lots to do…none of it is really all that pressing and I worked all weekend so back to goofing off.
Once I made that very informed decision, it was like all those objects associated with things I need to do decided to march on me like an army. Banners were waved saying, “yeah, but I need done ASAP so that my friend here can move forward…” and “don’t forget me…november is just around the corner”. I’m back to feeling guilty and we (my stuff) and I negotiated some blog time and then I’ll work.
Plus I’ll write it in “my list”…”my list” has, in conjunction with “my dayplanner” ruled my life.
So…what’s been up with me? Things have been going rather well. My work is moving forward reasonably well, the learning curve that I experienced when I started to TA this current course has evened out a bit (still steep, but I’m faking it better and feeling less guilty when I answer a question with ‘yeah, I’m not sure but I’ll check on that’). Money is short…in fact, when I found out how much less I’m making this semester, my breath was short, too. But, I’m not starving and it’s not like I”ve got a fast paced social life filled with fast cars, loose women and expensive nights out on the town.
Back to talking about my work. What prompted me to write this little update was something I read in facebook. A cousin of mine wrote something about counting down to the weekend…again. My first reaction was, ‘huh? It’s only Tuesday!’ but then I realized something. I remember one reason I got into this life and out of my old one was because I hated hated HATED the idea of living for my weekends. That I would only really appreciate 2/7ths of my life…because, also, not much was going on in my evenings that I could write home about.
I’ve just backspaced my way out of about 4 semi-paragraphs in an attempt to describe how I now feel about the things I do every day. Each one of those deleted passages was too sappy and embarrassing to recall here. Suffice to say that I no longer look for the weekends to redeem myself and allow me to do what I want to do. I’m doing what I want to do all the time now. It feels good.
Funny, though…as much as I would like to write about my research here I just can’t bring myself to do it.