The truth is that this has been a difficult summer.
Looking back, I wish I had been more prepared and more determined to do well in the courses I took but, well, they weren’t really required or related to my field anyway. Still, the slight pangs of shame I feel every so often (once every few hours or so) have knocked my confidence down a few pegs so that I have honestly become shy about my PhD and where I’m going to apply. I feel lost with this PhD stuff…so much to consider. So much.
I considered today my first day of school and got to the lab early and did a good few hours of work. After coming home, a quick nap, some food and DVDs later, I’m back in the saddle and taking a break only to say hello to you, dear reader. I’ve been working through the summer and aside from those nasty courses, my research has been progressing. Nearly finished my first study (booking babies is my only obstacle) and starting on my second asap. That part feels pretty good, though I’ve had a terrible time concentrating on much else for the past few months and have almost wondered if I ought to see a doctor what with all the sleep I feel I need.
Right now, however, I’ve sat down to write my first draft of my first abstract to be submitted to my first conference. I wrote the first drafty title, I wrote my name and my advisor’s name under it, I wrote my department and my university….and….now what? Gad.
I think I’ll need some coffee for this. Wish me luck.