What am I doing with a blog?

Awww…heck. I dunno.

Things I am not: June 17, 2007

Filed under: misc — himbly @ 11:37 pm

there are things I am not: a patient person, an accepting person, a tolerant person = a good person.

I am aware…so forgive me this post.

As most of you know, I’m currently still looking for a place to live…and last week was a bust with the car in the shop for 5 days + crazy crazy school times. That being the case, I am still up at my mum’s house itching to get back to a regular life…ie. a life with my own space and my own stuff. This, although I am very close to my mum and we’re getting along fine up here, is driving me a bit mental (well, this plus a few unfinished things that keep cropping up).

My stepfather is a nice man…we, too, get along fine. We’re not at all close, but we are fairly respectful of each other’s space. His mother has come up to visit (from California) a kind lady…sweet, though she’s lost her hearing and shouts. It’s okay…she’s well intentioned. She has, however, brought with her the 4th in a series of husbands and he is making me climb the effing walls.

John…for that is his name…this headache is dedicated to your wrinkled 81 year old ass.

Whatever. I know he’s old. I’m being as respectful as I can…but mother of god! Such an abrasive old prick!

I look in the classifieds for a place to live…”Are you looking for a man??”

I work on my computer…a word document is up with the title “Phonotactics study lab procedures”…”You’re not looking up boys on that thing, are you??”

I was tired the other night and parked maybe a foot away from the curb..he rode me about it for 2 days! “why’d you go an park in the middle of the street like that?”

Even when you’re 81, you’ve GOT to have better things to do…don’t you?

Truth is, I’m not used to this type of treatment. My grandmother is Polish. I”m used to passive aggression…not straight aggression. I’m used to the heavily accented and secretly barbed words of a woman with generations of training in the art of guilt. Not this straight ahead “I gots give the young’uns a hard time” that I’ve been receiving the past couple of days.

Okay…so..’let it go’, you probably are thinking. Yes..I have been. I ignore the comments and keep on truckin’ with clenched teeth….so when he said these following words (when discussing immigrants of Middle Eastern descent (a topic, by the way, no one brought up but him)):

“I call ’em sandn*****s”

…well…you know the “fight for flight” reaction? I picked flight and bolted away from the table and into the other room before I either laughed or threw water in his face. What do you do? He’s 81!! You can’t sit there and act like you agree! You also can’t stand up and say, ‘listen to me you ignorant fuck…’. Or can you???

Another gem from today:

(on me trying to help him with my mum’s ridiculous number of remote controls that I haven’t even grasped yet because I don’t really watch any tv)

“well..why didn’ you just TELL me that you didn’t know how to do it and we could have saved some time”

(luckily, a split second after he said it, I got it to work…smiled sweetly…and said, ‘well, it seems I know better than you do, doesn’t it?’)

Indeed, I am locked in a fierce battle with a 81 one year old man. I am aware this fact does not make me a big person. Got 12 days left…let’s all pray I can find a place to live before that is up.

Just now…after telling me what I should do with my car…he’s peeing with the door open. Grant me strength! I’ll never take my grandmother for granted again!


7 Responses to “Things I am not:”

  1. Mac Says:

    Be strong, Himbly… look upon this as an exercise in developing character (as Calvin’s dad would say)…

    My mom-in-law (age 75) and her boyfriend du jour (age 90) are visiting this week. This is the first time we’ve met him and he’s not as bad as the last one (the last one, like your senile delinquent, had opinions about sandn—-rs and pretty much everyone else who isn’t European) which is a blessing… so far so good.

    He’s deaf and his English isn’t great. I understand his Hungarian is excellent. Too bad I don’t speak Hungarian. On the upside, by the third or fourth time he’s told the same story (word for word) I’m usually able to figure out what he’s talking about… so the next time he tells the same story (word for word) I’m able to laugh at the right time.

    My 13 year old daughter sat with him yesterday evening and I was absolutely impressed with her patience and compassion as he talked about being a POW during WWII. Evidently, I’m raising a great kid. What’s the odds!

  2. Reg Says:

    Party in Mitchieville on July 7th! You can get really drunk and tell us all off. That should make you feel better for a day or two anyway.

  3. himbly Says:

    Mac- Well…I’ll tell you something. Today, even though he was knowingly interupting my work, he spoke to me as if I was another human and we had quite a decent chat. Probably your mum-in-law’s bf was treating your 13 year old with the same respect, but she was probably still very interested in what he was saying which does make her a great kid. I used to ask my grandmother endless questions about Poland during the war (which makes me a great kid). hahaha.

    Reg- Internet party? Should I get tore up and online? I’ve done that before, sadly.

  4. Mac Says:

    Glad you’ve made progress with your problem geriatric. In a way, he sounds like an old family friend who used to tease all the young ladies about their boyfriends (or lack thereof). He was harmless but thought himself amusing. He was funny… but not in the way he thought he was, if you get my drift…

    The mom-in-law’s previous bf visited once and that was enough for me. I wasn’t disappointed when she dumped him for being “too controlling” which sounds so funny coming from a (then) 74 year old woman who never hesitates to speak her mind.

    Being that I’m from the East coast and have been on the West Coast since the 90s with my in-laws living in Ontario, my kids haven’t had a great deal of exposure to grandparents. We do regular visits when we can but there’s a world of difference between visits and having a close relationship with grandparents. That’s why I’m so impressed with my daughter’s efforts. She’s 13… not an age usually noted for patience or compassion but she showed plenty of both. Needless to say, I made sure to praise her for it as soon as we had privacy.

    My son (15) has steadfastly avoided prolonged contact with both grandmother and the boyfriend. He’s not being unfriendly but he certainly not going out of his way either.

  5. Mac Says:

    My wife ran out of patience before any of the rest of us… She had a “heart to heart” with her mother about timing of visits and bringing along boyfriends. sigh…

    You see, this visit was kind of sprung on us with only a couple of weeks notice; not enough time to change our schedules much. Mom-in-law and he-who-cannot-hear want to tour around but we’ve got many things going on. We’ve accomodated as much as we can but we have other commitments. Only a few days more…

  6. Mac Says:

    Free! Bwahahaha!! I ran around inside the house naked to celebrate having my privacy back!! I think I traumatized the cats but other than that…

  7. himbly Says:

    hahahaha…I’ll be sure to run around my new apartment naked in celebration of my new found privacy as well!

    Mine are still here (Teh Octogenarians) but they’re gone tomorrow morning. They’ve already started packing, so I think they’re probably going to run (walk?) around their house naked in celebration when they get back.

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