Robot researchers are currently installing blood-sucking eel brains into machines and powering them with gastrointestinal motors that feed on flesh. Some people don’t see a problem with that. To test how safe that sounds to you, rate the likelihood of you putting a baby down next to something like that. You should now either have a better understanding of the horrors of robots or be standing near the abandoned bonnet of a once non-eaten baby.
Science seems so desperate for good ideas that they run commercials during daytime television asking people to send in their invention blueprints. Does the scientific community really expect the next big advancement to come from a Jerry Springer viewer, and if so, why are they constantly mailing back my plans for the Midget-Mounted Pie Launcher? According to the post office, it’s because “Science!” is not a complete address. More likely, though, it’s because the oil industry wants you to think my inventions are just a myth.
You can tell a lot about a person from the hobbies they choose, especially if it requires them to be tied to a bathtub full of hot dogs with a panel of judges and a proctologist with a tape measure watching. But enough about coin collecting.
And, of course, his own website.
Featuring one of the best reply-letters I’ve ever seen. My god.