Actually, that’s not true. Academic girls in my field don’t notice when you get your hair cut. My MGIS academic girl did…but she’s finished, so maybe that’s why she’s able to see trivial stuff again. ha.
I did it. One week of my MA and I finally feel like I’m okay. No more panic attacks, just a little, ‘oh my god, can I do this?’ but right now, I’m either delusional, or I’m feeling pretty good. Of course, there’s not much homework this weekend, so we can take that into account.
All the people I am sharing this grad school experience are great, it seems. I am also lucky enough to have one PhD that I’ve completely clicked with and hung out with all summer…she is lovely. Another PhD student is a girl I did my undergrad with; it’s nice to talk about the olden days with her because I remained in contact with none of the BA people. The new PhD is also very sweet. As for the MAs, I know one from last year and quite like her and the other two are very cool people. Yes…if you’ve been doing the math, the linguistics grad students total to 7. Small, but adventageous for us. I won’t be freaked out talking in class or presenting my papers with only 4 or 5 people in the room.
I’ve spent much of last week and part of this week feeling as though I was submerged and the top of the water was about 5 inches over my head. In my first class, my prof was going to as all four of us where our intrests lie so he could tailor the course to meet our needs. Suddenly, I was gripped in panic. What was I interested in? How could I answer that question? What if I say something stupid? I don’t know what I”m interested…..wait…uh…yes I do. I know exactly what I’m interested in. Wait! I can answer this question intelligently!! Hurrah! I AM GRAD STUDENT!
Then I stood up on the table and thumped my chest. For good measure.
Okay, I didn’t, but it almost made me giggle out loud when I felt the panic rising and subsiding so quickly.