What am I doing with a blog?

Awww…heck. I dunno.

…tastes like itchy November 25, 2004

Filed under: Uncategorized — himbly @ 1:48 pm

I’m allergic to nuts.

I actually don’t know ~which~ nuts I’m allergic to, I’ve just avoided all things nutty since I was two years old. Well, at that age, I was having them avoided for me.

It all started one day when my mother, unaware of my condition, was lovingly pushing me in a cart through Safeway when she came across a display of walnuts. She carefully chose one, bit off a small chunk, fed it to me and then stood back in horror as she watched her cherubic little darling swell into something that resembled a hungover John Merrick.

She sat up all night listening to my breathing patterns after a doctor at the hospital sent us home with a ‘just keep an eye on her and she should be alright’.

So…ever since…I’ve never eaten nuts. There’s a couple I’ve ingested by accident…it’s a crap shoot, really. I’ve come through some of those times completely unscathed and other times it has resulted in a very uncomfortable evening of finding an uncrowded walk-in clinic. But I’ve not been to the hospital since…so I doubt I’m the type that will keel over if a peanut touches one of my M&Ms.

Which puts me in the (seemingly) unique position of not knowing what nuts taste like. I know I’ve had them, but had I known there were nuts in whatever I was eating, I would have not eaten them…you see? So, I don’t know what the taste ~is~, exactly. Not all nuts taste like danger to me, so it’s difficult to say. Plus, ~quantity~ is a factor. Say I were to eat something and find nuts in it…the next mouthful may be the mouthful that changes my day from carefree to constricted throat. So, if I suspect something’s amis, it’s best to abort the whole eating mission altogether.

Which is what I was trying to explain to the kid at the coffeeshop today when I told him I was unable to identify the ‘different’ taste of my iced vanilla latte, but needed to know if it was nuts because I didn’t know what nuts tasted like. He was very cool about it and gave me a new one, but he was all, ‘dude…you don’t know what nuts ~taste~ like? That is so, like, weird.’

My mother, in her unending struggle to not let her baby be denied any of life’s pleasures, bought me No Nut Butter…a peanut butter substitute made, I think, of peas…not sure. I’ll check the label. Anyway…I don’t like it. According to my boy and blackmana…it tastes almost like the real thing, so if that’s the case then I suggest it’s an acquired taste that I have not acquired through years of being handed a pb&j sandwich and sent to watch cartoons. The boy eats it now. Which brings me to another funny event when I offered to make him toast one morning and asked what he’d like on it.

“Peanut butter and marmalade!”

“Really??”, I asked because he’s often a joker.

“uh…yeah…of course”

See? I don’t know what goes with peanutbutter. I hear jelly. I hear bananas. Hell if I know.

 

shhh…no words November 22, 2004

Filed under: Uncategorized — himbly @ 12:25 am

proud
Originally uploaded by himbly.

I’ve been trying to think of a post that would go with this…but I can’t. It would best be left on it’s own.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you…a proud man:

 

Great God A’mighty! November 21, 2004

Filed under: Uncategorized — himbly @ 12:25 pm

lambuelmaze
Originally uploaded by himbly.

Will someone please tell me what the EFF this is ???
I suggest the Kid’s Corner.

I’ve seen this site -looked over it again and again- for a couple of years now. I ~don’t think~ it’s a joke. I ~think~ it’s real. BUT I’m never quite sure. If it is a joke, I will prostrate myself at the feet of the world’s greatest pranksters. If it ~isn’t~ a joke, I will prostrate myself at the feet of Jesus…

*pfffft*

no I won’t.

Got nothing against Jesus. Sounded like a decent guy. Got everything against his followers. Packs of mangy hounds. Very generally. Not all of them. Just the frothy ones. Like the ones that wrote that site. If it’s true.

This ones not true, but funny, too:

WWBD?

 

the only fear is fear itself

Filed under: Uncategorized — himbly @ 11:45 am

work
Originally uploaded by himbly.

Well…now I’ve gone and done it. I done told a work colleague my blog addy.

Hi Bumf.

No big deal, really, I’m just a/ shy about my blog, but whatever, that’s my problem and b/ I was worried that I would eventually bitch about work and he’d be there to read it.

So…there’s nothing to do but confront fear head on:

G-damn I hate my effing job.

(Bumf…you are sworn to secrecy…what is read on the web, stays on the web. Fair?)

Now…allow me to make a few disclaimers. The ~people~ I work with are great…not just saying that because Bumf is here. I’m generally left alone. There’s just enough insane women to keep me amused. Bumf and a couple of others come around for a pretty good chat every so often. My boss is pretty fair and loves hearing my D&D stories. I even get paid decently – for what I do. The owner of the company is pretty cool…like, in an actual ‘hip’ way…not like a JC Anderson cool in a ‘my god, he’s just like the cartoon’ way.

BUT…

but…

oh my god, but…

what have I done? My job is so useless. My talents (whatever they are) go untouched. I’m so much smarter than my job requires me to be. And as every day goes by, I’ve spent another 8 hours helping rich men get petroleum out of the ground as fast as those little pumpjacks can suck so that everyone can drive their monster SUVs to the corner store and keep it running while they rent Titanic. Again.

Arrgghhh.

And all because I ~really dig~ linguistics. And I was too lazy/intimidated/whatever to resist the call of oil and gas when I was a freshly graduated, newly unemployed lass.

That was 7 years ago…and for those 7 years, I’ve been floating at these pink collar jobs. 7 years in a pool of ‘support women of the office’ which often is the cattiest little group of cliches I’ve ever seen.

But that’s another rant for another day.

So…I’ve made mistakes. Many.

But that’s another rant for another day.

What I’ve got will do for now. I’ve luckily got my projection gig, my tutoring gig, my hobbies so that I can feel productive and interested. Eventually, the grad school in my future will be in my present…

but that’s another rant for another day.

 

And speaking of… November 17, 2004

Filed under: Uncategorized — himbly @ 12:24 am

woody
Originally uploaded by himbly.

Re: quote from before

I love Woody Allen and I’m going to include some quotes I’ve found here:

http://www.woodyallen.com

I can’t do the fancy-dancy link thing yet ’cause a/ I’m too lazy and b/ …. well, I think a/ covers it. I’ll learn it eventually and have a pretty blog like e’ryone else. But for now, here:

“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.”

“I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child.”

“More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.”

AAAHhhhahahahahahahaha…

*wiping tears*

aren’t you glad I did that?

 

Comments on the election…

Filed under: Uncategorized — himbly @ 12:14 am

patriot
Originally uploaded by himbly.

 

Like the man with the glasses said…

Filed under: Uncategorized — himbly @ 12:03 am

inna-gadda-da-oswald
Originally uploaded by himbly.

Tragedy + time = humour

I occasionally peruse the photoshop phridays on somethingawful.com but none of those photoshopped pictures…and some are damn funny…made me laugh as much as when I first saw this.